We have learned over this last week that Duncan has a hernia.  Hernias run in Vernon's family.  He and all five of his brothers have, at some time, had hernias.  It really came as no surprise then that it would be Duncan who, of all my children, would develop a hernia, or at least be the first one to do so.  The doctor down in Pensacola is recommending surgery.  So, now it is my job to find a surgeon up here who can see Duncan as soon as he comes home to verify that this truly needs to be done and also schedule surgery asap after he returns home at Christmas time.

We had planned for Duncan to return to Pensacola Jan. 2nd to work for a couple of weeks prior to the start of next semester, but it looks like now he will be returning when the semester begins in order for him to have as much time to heal before he starts a new semester.  As all this information was sinking in I began thinking about how thankful I am that I live in this time period.  A hundred or five hundred years ago there would have been very little likelihood that Duncan's health issues could have been corrected.  Let me give you the picture of what Duncan would have looked like back then, with no corrections to his different health issues.

Looking at Duncan, his ear would not have been the first thing you noticed, although you would have seen a small peanut shaped cartilage where his ear should have been.  As a young man Duncan's spine would not have been straight and he would have been hobbling along with a crutch by his side.  As he aged he would have been in so much pain he would have been resigned to a wheelchair or bed. This would be the picture you would have seen.  People would have turned away when approaching him so as not to get caught staring.  Because of his external features you would not have noticed how smart he was, and as he aged he would have slowly been shut away to do some work indoors where no one could see his deformities.

As a mother, I will be honest, I have wished many times that we lived when Christ was on earth.  I think about how I would have done everything I could to get this infant to Jesus so that he could have a whole ear.  I have imagined myself taking him once again back to Christ to correct his leg length difference.  And even now, I can see myself bringing him once again to the feet of the Savior for healing for his hernia.  I am not sure if Christ would have healed all these issues the first time I brought Duncan to Him, or if, over the years I would have made repeated trips.  All I know is it is easy to imagine doing those things.

Our natural tendency as humans is to want things to be "normal"--to fix what is abnormal or to hide it away so as to not draw attention to it.  Don't get me wrong I am extremely thankful that all of Duncan's issues so far have been "fixable" to some extent.  Today he has an external ear, albeit not a natural looking one.  Today he has two legs that are relatively the same length and he is not in pain because his spine is curving from the difference in those lengths.  From what I understand hernias can be painful, but this too is "correctable".  As a mother I want my child to not be in pain.  I want my child to enjoy life to its fullest without being hindered by a body that won't cooperate with what his mind wants to do.

On the other hand, I also long for my children to be all that God intended for them to become.  And the truth of the matter is that sometimes that means struggling.  For Duncan, that may mean struggling with physical limitations and accepting himself the way God made him. What each of my children struggle with will be different, but struggle they must. Struggle with their own ability to trust that God made them exactly the way they needed to be in order to do the job He has for them.  Struggle with their own acceptance of themselves with all their perceived flaws.  My prayer for each of them is that they become the young men and woman of God that will allow God's grace to flow through them and point others to Him.