One of the verses our pastor brought out last night was Rom. 8:28. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."  Another quote he said was, "Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light."  I am not sure where that quote originated, but both those things hit home with me.  As I think back to the many things that have happened in my life, I am amazed at how they have worked out in my life.  Things like as a child when we were living in subsidized housing with cockroaches running around on our beds as we slept at night God had us there so a bus captain could knock on our door and invite us to church where I was saved.  Or the nights of hunger when I hadn't eaten in a couple of days, but how God was teaching me that He could supply all my needs.  Even today, when I choose to fast, I can think back to those days and realize that, while I definitely wouldn't want to relive them, choosing to go without food won't kill me.  I can't explain it, but somehow it makes fasting easier.  Possibly because I know that God has supplied my need and I can go to the cupboard and eat, I am just choosing not to at that moment.

As for the quote, well, I was thinking about how much peace I have with the choices I've made regarding my treatment.  While I am fully aware of the status of my cancer, I would not have made any other choice.  I am content that the choices I've made so far are what has been right for me.  I have peace knowing that I believe God has led me in this path, and that no matter the outcome He is working in me to make me more like Christ.  Every time I have a test run and the news is worse it is easy for me to begin doubting the choices I have made, but each time I start to doubt the peace leaves and fear starts to take over.  Fear is easy.  It almost seems to come naturally.  Peace in the midst of your trials is a gift from God.